I’m afraid…

…that I won’t be remembered.

This year, a coworker passed away. He was young, passionate, and dearly loved by all who knew him. To honor his memory and continue his work, his family and close friends started a nonprofit. Loosing Peter was hard, but knowing that  his work will be continued eases the pain a little.

Seeing Peter’s family rally together to honor him and then contrasting that with others who pass and it seems like not much is done, I ask myself what it’s going to be like when I’m gone. Will I be remembered? Will people care? Will I have made a difference in people’s lives and will I have spent my time here on earth wisely?

One day I will account for every moment I spent here on Earth, and every wasted opportunity I could have used to make a difference in someone’s life. Knowing this pushes me on to help others, be selfless, and use my time and efforts to make the world a better place.

I think back to a conversation that my husband, a friend and I had while sitting around dinner last night. My husband said something along the lines of, “Don’t worry about tomorrow because we have no idea what it will bring or if we will even be around. Spend your time using the minutes you know you have, the ones you are living in right now. That is how we will be most effective.

So yea, I think about whether or not I’m going to be remembered and if by few or many, but I think the bigger question I should be asking is:

Am using the moments I have right now to make a difference in the lives of my husband, children, community, and friends? For whether or not I’m remembered may not matter-it is the way I used the time I did have, when I had it, that matters.

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